12 weeks!

Tomorrow I will be 12 weeks! I haven't updated since last week but a lot has happened. This past week was pretty stressful at work. I also had a scare with some brown bleeding starting Tuesday night. It wasn't much and had stopped by the time I could get the dr on Wednesday. They said that there were lots of reasons that could cause brown bleeding but brown means old blood and if I wasn't having any cramps and since it had stopped there was nothing to worry about. They said that if it happened again that they would get me to come in so they could take a look to reassure me. I also have been having MAJOR morning sickness. It seems like it was worse this week than it has been throughout the entire pregnancy so far. Maybe it has to get worse before it can get better? I told dh maybe that is baby's way of telling me "I'm ok mommy... the bleeding didn't hurt me!" I also tried on the maternity pants that were given to me and only one pair fit.... they fit in the waist & length but they are way too long at the crotch.... very strange! That was a huge let down because I was counting on her clothes fitting me so I wouldn't have to buy so much maternity clothes myself. Between the stress of work, having trouble finding clothes to wear, the bleeding, and the morning sickness- I had a major breakdown Wednesday at work. I went in another teacher's room and just burst into tears... talk about hormones!!

Things have gotten better. I haven't gotten sick any this weekend and yesterday my mom and I went and got pedicures! We also were able to find me a shirt, pair of capris, and a little cotton dress. I also went shopping with dh and was able to find 2 nice dresses (I need one for an upcomming wedding), 2 pairs of dress pants, one pair of dressy black capris, and a nice shirt. I'm excited about the weather getting warmer because I feel like I have more I can wear for warm weather.... plus warm weather makes me feel better!

This weekend I have had major thirst and ALL I want is water with lemon in it. Today that is all I have drank... plain water or water with lemon. Nothing else! I can't get enough of it!!! It is hard to believe that I am actually 12 weeks now! The baby is now the size of a plum and vocal chords have formed and it MAY be possible to tell the gender!

Here is a picture of me last week and this week.... think I look a little bigger!

11 weeks!

I will be 11 weeks tomorrow! There are some big changes in the baby this week... the baby is supposed to be the size of a lime! It also is supposed to have hair and fingernails now! I haven't noticed much of a change in my belly this week but I think I have been sicker this week! Ugh! I'm getting close to the second trimester so maybe it will start getting better then. I hadn't said anything about this on here because I honestly thought I was crazy at first but the more research I did, the more I realized it was possible. Last Saturday I think I felt the baby move for the first time. I had just finished eating some icecream at our cousin's house and I felt something in my belly that felt kind of like when someone rubs against your arm really lightly. When I was looking up about feeling the baby move I found out that it COULD be as early as 10 weeks for people who are small. It said that it wouldn't happen very often this early but it is possible. Well, I had that same feeling today!! It is crazy!! Anyway, here is an updated pic. I think I may actually look a tad smaller this week then I did last week.

I'm BAAACCKKK!!

Ok... this post will be short but sweet but I had to share my news with you! Today I was called into the office to be told that I now WILL have a job next year and it will be MY job! No moving... no grade level change... nothing!!! WOOHOO!!! Talk about relief!

10 weeks & looking kinda preggo!

So I’ll be double digits tomorrow… 10 weeks!! WOOHOO!! I also think I look much more pregnant now and not so much like I ate a big lunch. I have a belly no matter what I wear now… loose or not. Today was a warmer day and I got to wear my maternity capris… they were so comfy and actually fit me which is nice. I also washed all of the maternity clothes today that one of the teachers is letting me borrow. So now I have some clothes that I’ll hopefully feel a little more comfortable in.

I’ve also had 2 pregnancy/baby dreams lately. Thursday I had a dream about the baby. It was a SHE and she was adorable… she had on a cute little dress and a big bow in her hair… she was also wearing black shiny leather shoes! Then last night I had the CRAZIEST dream about going into labor and when I got to the hospital they made me eat all of this “numbing chili” and then I had to wrangle horses. I didn’t actually dream about having the baby. I woke up when I got to the delivery room which was one giant room with lots of curtains and everyone was having their babies in the same room. It was STRANGE to say the least!

Anyway… here is a new pic collage. This is every other week from 4 weeks until 10 weeks. I think I look more pregnant this week. What do you think?

Feeling Down...

After mentioning it in my survey post I decided that I should go ahead and blog about my feelings because I'm really feeling down today. I hope this will help chear me up or at least help me to be able to get my feelings out. The last two Sundays have been hard. It is hard for me to get motivated enough to go back to work on Mondays. I love my job... that is what makes it so hard. I am tired and am pissed about being RIFed once again this year. RIF means reduction in force. Last year this happened and I was lucky to be called back to the same exact position. This year due to budget cuts we are closing an entire elementary school which that alone makes it necessary to cut me, along with 30 other people. They cut anyone with 4 years or less experience. I have 2. Pay ends in August... insurance ends in June. When I was told this about my insurance I just laughed and told the woman I was pregnant and due in September. She then told me I was the 4th person she had told that day that was pregnant. Lovely, huh? While I was told it was "possible" I could get called back I am very doubtful with it being so many people in front of me on the call back list. Plus they said that if they lose the money they think they will due to cuts in state funding they will have to RIF even more people. WHO is going to teach these children? We will have the same amount of children next year as we had this year... how will they be affected by bigger class sizes and frustrated teachers due to having too many students? I do NOT want to look for a job. That is what I did last year. I started calling every school around asking them if they would have openings, worked on applications and then I got called back. This year, while I don't think I will get called back, I don't have any motivation to do this. I would love to just be a SAHM but we can't afford it but who is going to want to hire a teacher who will be out the beginning of the school year when so many other teachers that are looking for jobs won't be? Now, here comes the kicker. Dh has been very supportive and would love me to be able to stay at home. He has even started looking for other jobs that would be higher paying... let's face it he hates his job anyway. He applied for a job in NC and he got a call for an interview. He goes on Monday. We don't know how much the pay would be but think it would be significantly more than what he is making now. BUT we would have to move. He would probably have to start working BEFORE I finished the school year and I am not the type of person to quit so I would stay here and he'd go there because it is too far for him to commute. If it is the kind of money that we think it would be I would be able to be a SAHM for a year... but we'd have to move... sell the house. I THINK I'm ok with this but it is too soon to make any big plans because he doesn't know if he will even get the job. I just feel like I'm in limbo... do I have to look for a job, will I get rehired, will we be having a long distance relationship for a few months and then moving, will I have to get a job there? I have no idea what will be coming up other than in another 6 or so months we will have a newborn. I hate not knowing the future... I am a planner (that's the teacher in me) and I hate not being prepared and I have NO idea what my future holds.

20 questions

Ok, Ashleigh tagged me so here it goes...

Rule #1: The tagged person must write their answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

Rule #2: Tag 4 people to do this quiz; they cannot refuse (ok, so nothing bad will happen if you don’t participate but I would love to see your answers). The tag-ee must state who tagged them.

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family?

Family... my doggy (Winston) is my first baby. DH & I got him after I graduated high school and he has been our baby since then. I can't imagine living life without him in it and it scares me to think that he is almost 7 years old already!

2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?

I've got a pretty good life. The only thing that would make it better is if my dh had a job he loved and my job was more stable... dang economy for making teaching such a difficult job to hold on to in this area.

3. What would you do with a billion dollars?

We would probably get a nicer house... I love my house but my dream house is a log cabin! I would still work because, let's face it, I love my job. I would have a cleaning lady & an on call chef (DH and I love to cook but sometimes we just don't feel like it... haha). I would like a swimming pool & hot tub. Pay off all our bills. Start a savings account for our children's college. Give money to each of the people important to us in our life and give some to charity.

4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

DH, my dog, a bubble bath, or music usually do the trick for me! :)

5. What is your bedtime routine?

Get everything ready for the next day, wash my face, brush my teeth, put on my pjs, and go to bed!

6. What activities did you do in High School? If you could go back, would you do the same stuff or something different?

I was a majorette... I also took dance but that wasn't with the school. I really wanted to be a cheerleader but we couldn't afford it. I was not really in to sports... wish I had played softball because I was pretty good at that.

7. What kind of books do you read?

I love Nicholas Sparks... I've read all of his books. I love anything that I can just relax and enjoy.

8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?

2 precious children, a nicer house, teaching or a SAHM

9. What’s your fear?

I fear not being able to afford this baby. I haven't written about this because I have honestly been in denial but I, along with 30 other peole in the county, was told about a week ago that we won't have jobs next year due to the budget. They go by who has the least experience and this year had to cut anyone with 4 years or less. This is the SECOND time this has happened to me. Last year I got called back and was fortunate to get my same position. This year with so many people being ahead of me on the call back it isn't looking good. I have zero interest in looking for a job and honestly who will want to hire me knowing I will be out in the beginning of the school year?

10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?

Nope

11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Pee... lol!

12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?

Sometimes I don't feel like he takes my concerns seriously. He always wants to "fix" things and sometimes I just need him to hear me out because he can't fix it.

13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

I can't imagine myself having a different name. It isn't my favorite but I still can't imagine having a different one.

14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?

Sun duh!!

15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

tacos!

16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?

Writing what I feel...

17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods?

Is it awful to say a mix of both? haha!

18. What items are in your purse right now?

Wallet, checkbook, chapstick, baby's ultrasound (I carry it with me everywhere), pen, and I had to laugh when I read Ashleigh had this because I do too... a tampon!

19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?

Beach!


20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t?

Probably same as Ashleigh... One Born Every Minute. It scares me sometimes and makes me cry a lot but I still watch it!

okay...I tag

Anne Marie- Pardon my Disillusion
Claire-TTC and Me
Erin- The Kings
Angela- Trying to Believe

Heartbeat!

I went to the doctor for my 4 week checkup today and it went really well. She said she didn't know whether we'd be able to hear the heartbeat with the doppler but she wanted to try. She did and after a lot of searching she found it!! She said she thought it was "swimming away from the doppler" when she couldn't find it. It was 172! She said this was normal for this point in the pregnancy. They said I had gained a pound since my last appointment which was ok at this point. I'm suprised it wasn't more since I eat constantly but my weight always goes up and down and can fluctuate 2-3 pounds daily. She also gave me some tips of some stuff I need to start doing now to help my chances of being able to breastfeed. Next appointment is March 21st.