Ugh

Today the line on my OPK was almost nonexistent... ugh!

SO excited!

OMG... my OPK tonight was SO close to being positive! It should be positive any day now!! Is this clomid going to be my miracle drug??!!

when will it be?

I am constantly wondering when O will be. I have no idea when it will come but boy am I ready to see what this cycle brings. I feel very upbeat & positive about it. As much as I had said I would hate to be due at the beginning of the school year and having to miss it, I am now hoping that this cycle is the one. It wouldn't be the end of the world (like I had originally thought) to miss the beginning of the school year. I actually think that if I have to miss any part of the school year (other than the end like I had originally hoped) that might be the easiest.  That way they can get in, learn the schedule, and when I return I can begin my routines & procedures. So now I'm just waiting on O to come. I am still getting negative OPKs but it is still early... just CD12.  Yesterday I had a huge clump of EWCM... but none today... just back to watery. So who knows what that was about. Also, I don't know if this is a side effect of the clomid or what but I have had a major increase in smell... I am smelling things that is in a different room and it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I have also had a dull headache for the last two days (clomid I'm guessing?). I think I have overall been pretty lucky as far as the side effects are concerned... I haven't really had too many. I am praying that O will come soon & this will be my month...  Well, back to the real world tomorrow.

False positives & turkey!

First I want to say I sure am enjoying all these yummy thanksgiving meals we have been having and enjoying getting together with lots of family! I wish we could do it more often... it is so nice! At  the same time hanging around babies makes me ache for me to have my own.

On another note, I just found out that Clomid can make you have fake positives on OPKs if you take them too soon after finishing it and that you should wait a few days after finishing before taking them... bahumbug! Guess that means my almost positive yesterday was really a fake! I will wait and take another tomorrow at CD11 and see where I am I guess.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day after turkey day!

Done!

I took my last dose of clomid this morning. I am so glad to have that done and now the fun starts and I wait to see when I will O. I couldn't resist doing an OPK today just to see where I was. The picture is really blurry but here is my CD 9 OPK from my first month using Clomid. What do you think? It is actually really close to positive. I can't wait to see what this cycle brings!! :)



 On another note...Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I have so many things to be thankful for! I have a wonderful life! I am very thankful for all the very special people in my life... I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family & loved ones!

Clomid Day 3

Well I am now on day 3 of clomid. The last two nights I have woken up in the middle of the night HOT! This is not common for me... I am usually very cold. I think this may be a side effect from the clomid. Hey... I'll take it if it makes me O on time and gets my eggo preggo! :)

Clomid Day 1

I took clomid this morning. I debated between taking it in the morning or night and decided to do it in the morning so I could see how I would react to it before having to go to work. Today I had no side effects. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much of not having any side effects since it is only the first day of taking it. I know more than likely it will be later once I have more in my system that I will have the side effects but so far so good! I asked my dh today if he could believe that I was taking fertility medicine. He looked at me and said "I guess we could have saved a lot of money over the years on condoms & birth control pills." I couldn't help but laugh... I was like yeah.. you are right.

Goodbye AF!

AF has left the building!! I start clomid tomorrow. I have been doing a lot of research on it and I am a little worried to see how my body will react to it. I don't want to have a ton of crazy side effects.... especially mood swings since I will be taking it right at Thanksgiving & seeing tons of family that don't know I am even TTC. They will think I'm just mean... not medicated! We will see what happens in the next few days I guess!

Pain, pain, go away... come again oh never mind- don't!

I'm ready for AF to leave... she has been here in full force the last few days. I think she is paying me back for not getting to visit for so long. Man oh man has she been mean. I was so sick feeling yesterday.. nauseous, dizzy, hot, and AWFUL cramps! That + trying to teach = no bueno! It has been really heavy too. I'm hoping she will be leaving in the next few days. I went today and got my Clomid... I'm actually getting kind of excited about it. I hope that it will make me O like I'm supposed to and make my eggo preggo pronto! I had originally planned to stop trying in October because of my job but this last cycle has put things into perspective. I want a baby... I want a baby as soon as I can so I'm going to do this. I am going to do everything I can. Oh and one of our wonderful TMP guides did a drawing and guess who won? Me!! So I'm super excited to use those tools to help get preggo! I am shockingly very upbeat about this cycle... woot woot! Here we go... clomid begins Sunday! 3 days to go...

CD1

The title says it all...
Here I come, clomid!

12dpo

I've NEVER made it to 12dpo... woohoo!! Do NOT want to get my hopes up but I'm just happy that either I'm having a longer lp or maybe just maybe....

Dr appointment update

I feel kind of numb after my dr's appointment today. He said the c word (clomid).  I felt my heart drop a little when he said it. I'm not sure why I am upset by it... I should be happy he is doing all he can do but it honestly scares me sh!tless to be taking it. I am so scared it will not work. If that doesn't work, then what?

Ok, let me back up a little bit. He said he wants me to wait a little while to see if I start AF on my own or get a BFP since I finally did O. He said if neither of those have happened he wants me to take Provera starting Dec. 1st and then start clomid on CD 5. He is giving me 3 mths prescription of it to try. If that doesn't work he said he wanted me to come back so we could talk about our next plan.

I hate not knowing what to expect

I love to prepare for things... I hate not being prepared. It literally makes me feel like I'm going to have a panic attack when I'm not prepared for things ahead of time. This leads me to tomorrow... I have no idea what to expect at my dr's appointment. I can't prepare myself when I have no idea what is going to be done or what the dr will say. What if something is wrong with me... or what if he can't figure out why my cycle has been so crazy? I am trying to relax and just wait to see what happens. I will update tomorrow night with the news the dr gives me.

so...tired... barely...can...move

Today was the LONGEST day ever. It was a full day of school with a meeting during my planning and a meeting after school and then a program at school after school. I didn't get home until 8:00 and have been doing lesson plans since then! I am EXHAUSTED!! I am proud of myself though. I stood up for myself today. I am one to not stand up for myself and to let things go but I have been having problems with my instructional assistant being disrespectful and down right mean to my students and today I got so sick and tired of it that I went and reported it to the principal. I am so proud of myself and hope that things will get better. She is going to talk to her (not telling her I reported her) but instead telling her that parents have reported her (goodness knows I've talked to enough of them myself about her). I hope it helps!

On the ttc front, my temp stayed almost exactly the same as yesterday. I plan on testing Sunday (just for the heck of it) and of course I have my dr's appointment on Monday.

It's getting hot in here

LOL.. I've been singing that song since I took my temp this morning! 98.41! I am starting to have IPS... I know it is IPS because I keep telling myself with my timing there is LITTLE chance that I could actually get pregnant. BUT... might as well share what is going on anyway... so here it is...

Saturday- MOODY!
Sunday- ok
Monday- frequent urination & HUNGRY
Tuesday- same as Monday
Wednesday-so far.. I thought my bladder was going burst if my thermometer didn't hurry up and beep this morning (this is not like me... I do not pee very often), I had a catch in my side this morning when I turned over

Now that my obsessing is over I am going to remind myself that this is all IPS... you can do this as well! LOL! Have a great day!

CROSSHAIRS!!!

WOOHOO~!!! I got crosshairs this morning... why am I so excited you may ask? Because that means I actually ovulated and AF should be on my doorstep very soon. I doubt there is much chance of a BFP due to the timing (although I guess it is kind of possible) but it will be nice to just start over!

On another note, today I have been so exhausted! This week has felt SOOO long. I am so ready for Thanksgiving break!

hmmm

So today I decided to temp just for the heck of it... 98.02. This was much higher than my temps were before I got sick of temping. Could it be that I finally did O somewhere in the shuffle of the nontemping? Maybe... who knows! I doubt it will result with a BFP since when I think it happened there is no BD'ing around. If I did O and my lp stays short like it has been I should be expecting AF this weekend or early next week. Knowing my luck I will start they day of my dr's appointment... lol! They told me I needed to come even if I had started to get checked out.

Next cycle plan

I have decided that next cycle I am going to put less stress on myself by not temping or using OPKs (don't blast me TMP ladies). I am just going to have fun with it and just see what happens. This cycle has been so stressful and in deciding this I have already felt so much less stress. Dh & I have bd the last three days in a row. I told him today what my plans were for next month and he is really stoked for it. I am going to use preseed though. I hope that this will be less stressful & more fun.

I did it...

I told my mom that we were ttc. She weas genuinely suprised. I thought she might know and just hadn't said anything but she didn't have any idea. She was very excited & happy for us. She told me she would go with me to the dr if I wanted someone to go with me. I told her I'd really rather just go on my own this time since they are just trying to figure out what is going on and not really doing anything. I made her promise not to tell anyone. She said she completely understood and wouldn't. It actually felt like a huge weight was lifted when I told her. I am trying to get rid of all this stress one thing at a time...

Dr appointment...

I finally have been able to take the time to call and make a dr's appointment. I have been trying to get ino touch with a nurse on the nurse's line since Monday. It is hard for me to be able to call any businesses with my job. I have a very limited amount of time during the day when I can actually talk on the phone so if they don't answer or call me back during that time period we usually just play phone tag. I have been playing phone tag with the nurse's line since Monday. I decided today to go ahead and make an appointment... unfortunately it isn't for another week and a half. I am really hoping that AF will decide to show up before then... like now would be nice. But if not... at least I have an appointment. I am still hoping to talk to a nurse to see what she has to say about what is going on. I feel that the stress I have had lately could be a big cause of what is going on. I wish I could just say poof and the stress be gone and my body would get back to normal... unfortunately that isn't going to happen and I don't see the stress that is in my life going away any time soon.

I am thinking about talking to my mom about this. I had planned not telling her that we were ttc because first I wanted it to be a suprise for her when we got pregnant. I naively thought it would happen quickly and couldn't wait to figure out how I was going to suprise my family by telling them. Then, when it didn't happen immediately, I didn't want to tell because I didn't want her asking me all the time how it was going. Now, I feel like I need my mom. I am so stressed and overwhelmed with some of the things going on in my life right now and I can't fully explain to her the pressure I am under if I do not tell her this. My mom & I have had a very open and honest relationship. We talk every day and I tell her almost everything. This is the only big secret I have ever kept from her... it is getting too difficult now.